Divorce is an all too common sight in American these days and there are many third parties that suffer terribly as a result. One of the most tragic aspects of any divorce are the children that are left to deal with the emotional and mental anguish of splitting parents. Each child has a specific number and type of needs in order to avoid any problems during a divorce situation. At ABC Preschool & Childcare, we see many children who are in the middle of a divorced relationship. In this article, we will explain some of the finer points that parents can utilize in order to help children cope with the trauma of divorce.
Needs of Children During Divorce
Despite being young, every child is hardwired by DNA to seek survival. When parents divorce, one of the biggest problems that kids have is that they lack an understanding of what the future might bring with regard to their own survival. It is important for both parents to ensure to their children that safety and security is key even if they are no longer living together at the same place. Once parents can provide safety assurances, it will be far easier for children to accept what is happening. At our childcare centers in Albuquerque, we strive to provide a safe environment for your child.
Another important factor that parents must address is the child’s feeling of guilt. In some situations, especially with single children, it is possible for children to feel guilty as a result of the divorce thinking that many of the problems are their fault. Misbehaving or making mistakes can often lead them to a sense of guilt whereby divorce is a form of punishment. As parents, it is important to be aware that this might be the case and assuage your child’s fears in order for them to feel better.
Loss of Structure and Freedom
Other issues that will come up with a divorce are the lack of structure that can come with a single parent who may not have the time or willingness to put the child’s needs first consistently. When parents cannot share the burden of a child, it is often makes things difficult for everyone involved. We have seen countless example of parents pulling their children out of child care and upsetting their normal routine. Nonetheless, providing clear boundaries and structures with your children can be a way of avoiding any problems even after you get a divorce. As parents it is now important that you do not feel guilty for the divorce or you are liable to allow children to get far more freedom than they should have.
That being said, children should be given a certain amount of freedom in order to explore the world after a divorce. They need to reason things through for themselves and, depending on their age, see things through their own eyes a little bit. Giving children space is sometimes all that is needed for them to come to terms with the divorce and live a much existence.
As a parent, it is your duty to address all of these issues and make them problems that can easily go away. If you can do that, there is no reason why your divorce has to be any harder on anyone than it already is.
